Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
