dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
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I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
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Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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