quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
