every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
