so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
