I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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