so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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