i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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