The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
