i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
