Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize