You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
