I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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