why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
