be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize