Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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