So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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