Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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