Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Your cock deserves a montage
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
