that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
