On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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