Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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