you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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