I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
