Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
