and you said cock pushups were impossible
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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