Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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