what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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