haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
