butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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