That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
