It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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