guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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