i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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