Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
