That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
