I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize