She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize