Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
