Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
