sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And then he peed in my hair
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