dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the day after is always just damage control
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
