i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
