I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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