I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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