Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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