i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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