you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
