im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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