If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"