we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
