I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
