p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
