wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
