Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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