Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
