im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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