there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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