Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
love makes seman taste better
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
